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13岁男孩砍死母亲的背后 是家长对子女教育方式的反思(双语)

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  建湖公安3月19日通报,2019年3月18日上午8时许,建湖县居民杨某(女,37岁)被发现死于家中。接警后,公安机关迅速开展侦查工作,并将有重大作案嫌疑的邵某(男,13岁,杨某之子)抓获。经查,3月16日晚,邵某因不服杨某管教,双方发生激烈冲突,致杨某身亡。目前,案件正在进一步侦办中。

  Jianhu Public Security reported on March 19, at 8 am on March 18, 2019, Yang (a female, 37 years old) resident of Jianhu County was found dead at home. After receiving the police, the public security organs quickly carried out investigations and arrested Shao Mou (male, 13 years old, son of Yang) who was suspected of committing a major crime. After investigation, on the evening of March 16, Shaomou was dissatisfied with Yang’s discipline, and there was a fierce conflict between the two sides, causing Yang to die. Currently, the case is under further investigation.

  近几年来这样的案件并不少见,孩子的行为背后,家长有没有考虑过出现的原因呢?

  It is not uncommon for such cases in recent years. Have the parents considered the reasons behind the children’s behavior?

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  父母要学会正确对待孩子

  Parents must learn to treat children correctly

  摒弃传统教养观念,传统的教养观念经常说:“不打不成器”“棍棒底下出孝子”等。但是,那是因为在传统观念中,尊卑观念占主导地位所致,父母与孩子的关系就是上对下,并没有尊重孩子、和孩子平等相处的概念。

  Abandoning the traditional concept of upbringing, the traditional concept of parenting often says: "Do not fight or not," "Follow the filial son under the stick" and so on. However, it is because in the traditional concept, the concept of esteem is dominant, and the relationship between parents and children is top-down, and there is no concept of respecting children and getting along with children.

  现代教育学已经证明了:传统文化的尊重多放在平辈的相处上,但在亲子关系中却十分欠缺。

  Modern pedagogy has proved that the respect of traditional culture is mostly in the relationship of the peers, but it is very lacking in the parent-child relationship.

  因此,有的家长们可以停止使用中国传统文化来当幌子了,多关心孩子才是硬道理。

  Therefore, some parents can stop using traditional Chinese culture as a scorpion, and caring for children is the last word.

  多沟通,在你在伸出棍棒打骂的时候,你有没有想过其实你可以坐下来和孩子好好的聊一下,问问他整个事情是怎样的?听听他的解释,说说你的建议,和孩子以一个平等的身份去交流。这样孩子会更愿意接受你的建议并改正自己错误的行为。

  More communication, when you are sticking out with a stick, have you ever thought that you can sit down and talk to your child well, ask him what the whole thing is like? Listen to his explanation and talk about your It is recommended to communicate with the child on an equal footing. This way the child will be more willing to accept your suggestions and correct their wrong behavior.

  很多时候作为父母要多想想自己是否是个会和孩子沟通的好父母,而不是一两句不对,火气上来,冲上就暴打孩子。

  Many times, as a parent, I have to think about whether I am a good parent who will communicate with my children, instead of one or two sentences, and I will be angry and rushed to beat the children.

  换位思考,在准备动手暴打孩子的时候,父母不妨想一想,是不是因为你们小时候一犯错就会挨到毒打?

  Empathy, when preparing to beat the children, parents may wish to think about it, is it because you were beaten when you were a child?

  那时候,你们被打的心服口服吗?还是会叛逆的更厉害?那么今天你们变成了父母,为什么又要做一样的事情呢?让家暴重蹈覆辙呢?